Consciousness@Work 66 – July 2026 – A Compassionate Response is Always Right

“He who can look at the loveliness of the world and share its sorrow, and realize something of the wonder of both, is in immediate contact with divine things.”
-Oscar Wilde

     Toward the end of 2025, the Foundation had the privilege to assist family members of a pilot who died in a helicopter accident. Earlier this year, I was honored when Dave the safety professional from the company who experienced the loss, and who I worked the accident with, asked me to read an article he was writing about leadership following a fatal crash. I had the privilege to make a few comments about lessons I have learned over the many years of studying families and employees who work for companies experiencing fatal tragedies. Read the complete article here: Rotor Pro

     While it’s true that my own personal losses in the aviation field were the genesis of my research and training programs, over the past years I have been able to learn from survivors of multiple types of traumatic losses. The themes I shared with Dave that are mentioned in the article continue to emerge as common challenges for a company, any time death or serious injuries occur where the organization could be blamed for negligence or multiple acts of misconduct, i.e., accidents involving other modes of transportation, shootings, terrorist attacks, and similar human-error related losses.

     As soon as I started working with Dave, it was clear that the helicopter company he was representing was aligned with what research continues to show as best practice for survivors and employee support. In the evolution of emergency management, where organizations plan and prepare for the humanitarian side of a response, companies we partner with have endorsed a proactive compassionate approach for survivors. Organizations who understand employee power have moved away from the old-style, defensive posture toward survivors.

EAL 401, Dec. 29, 1972; EAL 212, Sept. 11, 1974, EAL 66, June 24, 1975

     The flight numbers shown above represent the three crashes that occurred in quick succession when I was a young employee for Eastern Airlines (EAL). Over 300 passengers, crew members, employees and their family members died in these crashes. We were told to avoid the public in the aftermath of a crash, for fear that we might say or do the wrong thing and cause the company additional claims. This myth prevented the natural helping skills/responses that are part of being human. Denying this natural compassion on the part of company employees likely produced greater anger toward the company.

     The results of my original research showed, when employees responded from their natural feelings of empathy toward survivors, the company was seen as an advocate, instead of a perpetrator. Many outsiders were surprised at the positive effect that small actions and kind gestures on the part of the employees had on survivors.

Generosity is the most outward expression of an inner attitude of compassion and loving kindness.
-Dalai Lama

     My doctoral dissertation was the first formal published study of the relationship between post-accident response of employees and psychological disorder[1]. The study involved 78 survivors of fatal airline accidents. The results were staggering to my dissertation committee, who could not understand how survivors who in many cases had lost children, spouses, siblings and close friends in the same crash they survived, could possibly give the company a high score of satisfaction about post-accident employee response.

     These high scores were significantly correlated with less symptoms of all five disorders associated with trauma, including post-traumatic stress (and disorder), major depression, generalized anxiety, substance use, and somatization disorder. Conversely, low scores about employee responses were associated with increased symptoms of all five disorders.

     For those who questioned the role employees might play in the crash aftermath, as to whether we would be helpful or harmful, the question was finally answered in a scientific, replicable study, published for those of us who already knew the truth, and were now validated. And, perhaps most importantly for the skeptics to see the power of employee responders allowed to support their passengers, crew members and families involved.

     Following is one of multiple stories from my original research that illustrates the power employers unleash in their own employees when they understand this natural dynamic.

Who brought the balloons and stuffed animals to my room?
-Ann, Mother of John Doe 1 and John Doe 2, A Case Study[2]

     Ann remembers boarding the flight holding the hand of her older son, who was four years old at the time of the crash that killed both of her sons. She had no recall of the two-year-old, lap child she had carried on board the flight. When I interviewed Ann, four years post-crash, she still could not remember him. The psychiatrist who was treating her had explained that due to her head injury, quite possibly, she would never remember her second son.

     Ann was in a medically induced coma for several weeks after the crash. When she awakened, her husband was sitting beside her bed. He told her about the accident and about the loss of their boys. Her shock was too great at that time, to process the gravity of his words. Instead of a response, she glanced around the hospital room and asked her husband who had brought the balloons and stuffed animals to her room.

     “It was the airline employees,” he replied. Aware that this news along with what she was already trying to process probably did not make sense, he quickly followed with more information. “There are several employees who come in shifts, daily—always accompanied by a nurse. The nurse asked my permission to allow them to leave the toys, balloons, and small stuffed animals. They were, very polite and respectful and moved out of the room quickly, once they left the items.” Her husband went on to express how he found that their gentle, quiet, brief presence served as a balance for the nearly overwhelming waves of grief he often felt. (Note: there was no formal airline company response to families or survivors of the accident. These were random acts of kindness by a group of employees acting on their own).

     Ann was hospitalized for several months, including the outpatient rehabilitation program she had to complete before she could be released to return to her home. Shortly, after regaining consciousness, she became acquainted with the employees who had silently supported her with prayers and small gifts during the weeks she was unable to communicate. Once Ann was able to take short trips out of the hospital, the employees took turns providing transportation for her to attend mass on Sundays at a local Catholic Church. On sunny days, they took her to a near-by-park, pushing her wheelchair so she could experience fresh air and the healing power of the bright sunshine that arrived in the spring.

I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me, but I find I’m grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered the loss.
-Rita Mae Brown, American Poet

     Actions by the employees while Ann healed, allowed her husband to return home to work which was well over a thousand miles from the hospital. Ann also described the support she received from the nurses, doctors, counselors and others who supported her extensive hospitalization. The airline employees were part of the large team she credited with her optimism about the future, despite her enormous losses.
     Four years post-crash, Ann and her husband were blessed with a third son. Like many survivors I have interviewed over the years, Ann was determined to live out her life with gratitude for all of life’s positive experiences, including the short time she had with her two first-born boys.

Helping our whole family was generous on the part of the company. We realize they did not have to include us in the response.
-Sister of a pilot who died in a helicopter accident several years ago

      As is the usual practice in our case study research at the Foundation, we would not share details about the specific family that we worked with alongside Dave, so we use the above case study and quotes, that we believe convey the same message of what was effective about the response to the pilot’s family. Four decades of case study research shows why we are so certain that a compassionate response by the company experiencing the loss is always the right one.

     At FAERF, we express our gratitude to Dave and the helicopter company who chose to allow our team to serve the family members of the deceased pilot and support the company during this devastating loss. We are also grateful to the publishers at Rotor Pro, who allowed us to share more about our research and work at the Family Assistance Education and Research Foundation. We are dedicated to partnering with organizations who share our mission of empowering survivors during life’s most difficult and tragic times, by offering the most compassionate response possible.

[1] Coarsey, CV, (1992) Psychological Aftermath of Air Disaster: What Can Be Learned for Training? University of New Mexico, Albuquerque. Sponsored by CAMI, (Civil Aeromedical Institute, FAA)

[2] Following the crash, when Ann’s husband arrived at the hospital he learned of Jane Doe 1, John Doe 1 and 2. He claimed them as his family. Fortunately, Jane Doe 1, though in critical condition with severe head and multiple injuries, survived. Unfortunately, his sons had not survived.