The Family Assistance Education & Research Foundation (FAERF) has been at the forefront of the evolution of emergency management, combining the head-heart approach for a fully integrated response to survivors of traumatic loss. Practicing consciousness in the workplace involves caring for people first, without exception.
Written by: Carolyn V. Coarsey, Ph.D.
October 2024
It is the growth of consciousness which we must thank for the existence of problems; they are dubious gifts of civilization.
– Carl Jung, M.D. (Swiss Psychiatrist)
The fifth course in the I-HARP™ Practitioner Certificate will be previewed in the November 6th, 2024 Webinar. This will be the final course in the program and features survivors who appear in the first four courses. The primary objective of the fifth course is to learn how primary and secondary survivors transcend trauma, integrating the losses into their lives. Survivors describe lessons learned from their experiences and discuss their commitment to live out their lives in honor of the deceased with increased awareness of meaning and purpose in life.
The second objective is to gain an understanding of the crucial nature of self-care for team members and other corporate responders who support families and other survivors. Interviews with employee responders clearly show the impact of secondary trauma and the critical role of the organization in supporting their care, special assistance team members and other employee responders during and following the response.
Growth in Compassion for Others
The purpose of the journey is compassion. When you have come past the pairs of opposites, you have reached compassion.
– Joseph Campbell (American Author, Mythologist)
Starting with my doctoral dissertation, published in 1992, Psychological Aftermath of Air Disaster: What can be learned for Training, (1992), I have consistently asked survivors the question “Has anything positive come out of this trauma for you?” The number one response from survivors over the past three decades has been and remains ‘compassion’. The fifth course will highlight examples of this response.
The death of our twenty-four year old daughter Elly changed all of our lives. After much suffering, I think for the better.
– Marilyn Kausner, Mother of Elly who died in the Colgan/Continental Airlines Flight 3407 Crash
Prior to the crash of Colgan/Continental Flight 3407, February 12, 2009, where fifty-one lives were lost including a child born on impact and the owner of the house the flight crashed into, Marilyn and her husband John were parents of three adult children. Following the loss of their twenty-four year-old daughter, Elly, Marilyn describes approaching a mother and daughter at a friend’s wedding. Marilyn knew the husband/father had recently died. She felt compelled to go over and embrace them. Prior to Elly’s death, she wondered if she would have felt so inclined, but now this compassion for others who are grieving, comes naturally to her.
In our neighborhood, there have been other families that have lost a child. Terry will go over and sit and listen, or I will go over and sit and listen. When they are early in their journey, you just sit and listen.
– Scott and Terry Maurer, Father and Mother of thirty-year-old Lorin who died in Colgan/Continental Airlines Flight 3407 crash
Like Marilyn and John, Scott and Terry have found supporting other parents an important part of their own healing process. In addition to providing emotional support to other families who are grieving, both couples and other family survivors of the accident have devoted significant time in helping pass legislation to improve safety for the flying public.
The families are recognized for their dedication and advocacy to getting the Aviation Safety and Federal Aviation Administration Extension Act of 2010 (Public Law 111-216) passed. This act brought sweeping safety reforms to FAR Part 121 airline operations, including minimum standards for pilot training, flight experience, and qualifications, as well as science-based flight, duty, and rest requirements.
Shared Vulnerability
Connecting with others… by being vulnerable – as opposed to overcompensating and trying to get everyone to like you – will result in some of the best interactions and relationships of your life.
-Mark Manson (New York Times Best-Selling Author)
One person said it’s like you’ve just become the member of a secret society that you never would’ve wanted to be a member of and all of these other members are coming up to you and sharing the fact that they too belong to the secret society of people who suffered horrific loss.
– Jim Hammond, Parents died in Swissair 111, Sept 2, 1989
The power of shared vulnerability is another theme included in the fifth level course on survivor consciousness. In the program it is illustrated by family survivor Jim Hammond who was surprised by the number of people, some whom he had known for years, who spoke to him after learning of his parents’ death in the crash. They shared intimate details of their own losses.
“This definitely taught me that there is no hierarchy in suffering. I can’t say, oh you lost an uncle. I lost both my parents, therefore I lost more than you… it’s absolutely incorrect and wrong to say such a thing.” Jim learned that suffering is suffering and it is a universal process. This learning helped him move forward in his healing.
Like many survivors, Jim applied much of the wisdom he had gained in helping others when the Alaska Airlines tragedy happened, where all 88 on board died, January 31, 2000. With Alaska Airlines being based in Seattle, Washington where Jim lives, he volunteered his time to the Alaska Airlines Care Team trainers, and assisted in their training of team members. When called upon, he also provided support to family survivors in the area.
Seeking Alternative Methods for Healing
Father George told me and Marie to go stand at the head of the bed behind Lauren. He pulled her hair back and laid his hands on the top of her head. With that I saw an aura of light surround her head. The hair stood up on the back of my neck.
– Rich and Marie Anderson, parents of Lauren, survivor of American Eagle 3379. December 13, 1994
Interviews with survivors has shown many different avenues that are sought for healing and recovery from the tragedies. As an example, another theme introduced in the fifth level of the program is illustrated by Rich and Marie Anderson whose daughter Lauren survived American Eagle Flight 3379, December 13, 1994. In the crash, Lauren was one of five who survived the crash. The other fifteen on board died. Marie’s cousin, a Catholic priest, flew from New York City to Raleigh, North Carolina to perform a “Laying on of the Hands” ritual. When Rich saw the aura surrounding Lauren’s head and heard her settle into what he believed to be a deeper rest, as expressed by an audible sigh, he knew in that moment that she would fully recover.
Marie and Rich were told by the medical team at Duke Hospital that if Lauren lived, she would never walk again. Lauren, a freshman in college, went on to graduate, marry, and raise two children, all the while enjoying a successful career. Over two decades later, Lauren stood with great reverence at the memorial service her parents had made possible and read the names of those who died in the crash.
Rich and Marie’s gratitude toward Father George knows no bounds.That others might raise eyebrows toward this and other less-understood treatments is of no concern to those who bear witness to the effectiveness to alternative modes of healing.
Employee Responder Survivors
I knew my work was finished and it was time for me to go home, when I learned that my four-year old daughter thought I had died in the Swissair crash.
– Delta Air Lines Care Team Member, assigned to work with a family from Swissair 111, September 2, 1989
The final course in the Practitioner’s Certificate would not be complete without examples of the emotional impact, responses have on an employee responder’s life. Stories are used to make the key points pertaining to self-care, which includes remaining connected to one’s family while deployed One example presented to illustrate the point pertains to a Care Team member who was assigned to assist a family in Halifax, Nova Scotia. After two weeks of being away from his home in Atlanta, Georgia, his wife received a call from an administrator at the kindergarten his young daughter attended.
The team member learned that his young daughter had told her teacher that her father died in the Swissair crash. Even though the team member called his family each night at home, and spoke to his wife and two children, the call from school made it clear that his younger child was confused. Looking further into the story, the family realized that because the Care Team member had left for work the morning of the accident and had not been home since the crash occurred, the child assumed that her dad had died in the crash.
When the young girl was reminded by her mother that they spoke to his dad each night, her daughter told her that thought she was talking to her dad in Heaven, much the way the family prayed to Jesus each night. Recognizing the seriousness of the situation, Care Team leadership sent the team member home on the first flight out to Atlanta.
I knew that my work was done and it was time for me to transcend the trauma. I called the employee assistance program, and made an appointment with a counselor.
– Jody, Care Team member who worked with a family, after a young man died in a company-sponsored sporting event.
One of the examples of a Care Team member and the critical nature of practicing self-care during and following a response pertains to Jody who supported a family after a young man died during a company sponsored race. Due to circumstances beyond her control, Jody was unable to say good-bye in the formal way best practice dictates in how a Care Team member finishes an assignment with the family. As a result, she found herself following the survivors on social media to learn how they were coping after the response had ended.
Soon, Jody realized that she was becoming emotionally attached to the family that exceeded boundaries of emotional health for her. Recognizing this, she quickly ended behavior that she knew was unhealthy and reached out for counseling assistance through the company’s employee assistance provider.
Having learned a valuable lesson, Jody willingly shared her experience in a video for the purpose of helping other care team members and employee responders in similar situations. Thus, like family survivors, Jody’s awareness, contributes to raising consciousness for the greater good of humanitarian assistance programs.
The purpose of life is the evolution of consciousness.
– David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., Power Versus Force
To learn more about the Practitioner Certificate in International-Humanitarian Assistance Response Program™ see FAERF.ORG or contact kristine.budaha@aviem.com