The Family Assistance Education & Research Foundation (FAERF) has been at the forefront of the evolution of emergency management, combining the head-heart approach for a fully integrated response to survivors of traumatic loss. Practicing consciousness in the workplace involves caring for people first, without exception.
Written by: Carolyn V. Coarsey, Ph.D.
March 2025
Everyone has a genetic predisposition that partly determines their response to emergencies. But to get through a crisis, you need to harness emotional resilience.
–Gary Small, M.D., Editor of Mind Health Report
Early in January this year, FAERF had the privilege to assist companies in the Los Angeles, California, area by providing telephone support to employees impacted by the wildfires. Many of their employees lost their entire homes. Others’ homes were spared, but the employees lost many, if not all, of their personal and family items. Our Care Team members quickly acquainted themselves with the list of services the companies were providing, along with additional assistance being offered by the local community, state, federal, and other resources — and went to work doing what we do best, supporting individuals and families in crisis.
As per our usual standard, the leadership at FAERF received positive feedback, leading us from one project to another. In some cases, our support work of one employee group continues as of the publishing of this article. Those of us who worked with the employees and interacted with the companies’ leadership teams saw many examples of resilience. This led me to pay close attention to the April edition of Mind Health Report. The editor, psychiatrist Gary Small, summarizes research on resilience and how, as humans, we can actually grow in times of crisis.
Emotional and Cognitive Resilience are Basic Human Qualities
Emotional and cognitive resilience are basic human qualities that hope to help people cope with change, navigate adversity, reduce stress, and bounce back from setbacks. Cognitive resilience taps into problem-solving skills, thinking capacity, mental flexibility, and capacity to reframe challenges. Fine-tuning these mental attributes is key to getting through a crisis.
Emotional resilience allows people to express concerns without being overwhelmed, allowing them to transform negative thinking and gain support from friends and family. Having a high level of emotional resilience helps people put obstacles and failures in perspective and discover new opportunities that may arise.
People who develop cognitive resilience can adapt their thinking processes. Their mental flexibility and problem-solving skills can lead them to solutions rather than dead-ends, especially in situations with uncertain outcomes. People with prior experience getting through crises often find subsequent emergencies easier to navigate, and a life of learning contributes to mental resilience. If you’ve had to navigate big and small challenges and resolve them, it increases your confidence when facing new ones.
It’s good to learn from your mistakes. It’s better to learn from other people’s mistakes.
-Warren Buffett, American Businessman, Entrepreneur (1930-)
In our work at the Foundation, we are privileged to observe examples of resilience as a part of our constant exposure to survivors. Warren Buffett’s quote above reminds me of how fortunate we are to learn about resilience from survivor models that we come to know on a personal basis. While they may not think of themselves as models, it would be difficult to think of them in any other way.
The crash left all of us changed… and I would say it is for the better
-Marilyn Kausner, Mother of Elly who died in Colgan/Continental Flight #3407
One family that comes to mind as I reflect on how our losses shape our lives involves the Kausner family. As many have seen on video in our I-HARP™ Certificate program, twenty-four-year-old law student Elly died along with fifty others, including an infant that was born on impact and a man who lived in the home the aircraft destroyed in the crash. Elly’s parents, Marilyn and John, like other Flight 3407 families who are members of FAERF, worked tirelessly to support everyone who struggled in the aftermath of the crash. In addition to their children, John and Marilyn, who live in Buffalo, NY — and therefore close to the site of the crash, spoke up for families who needed backup from others when challenged over their needs by leadership on site from the airline and insurance companies.
In the videotaped interview with Marilyn, she described how their family grew in number of family relationships after their daughter Elly died. Like most family survivors, Marilyn believes that Elly’s Spiritual presence is with the family and even helped previously undiscovered relatives find their way to the current family. As Marilyn reflected on the changes the experiences brought into their lives, she described having a much greater appreciation of how long the grief process takes and how important it is to express compassion for others who are experiencing the long road to healing after the death of one’s loved ones.
Marilyn ended her interview with the quote above, where she expressed her belief that she, John, and the entire family have been changed for the better by the crash and the subsequent experiences. While I have never met a parent or any family survivor who felt that the death improved their lives, I continue to see families who can accept the tragic loss in a way that allows them to go on loving.
Social Support Keeps Your Emotional Battery Charged…
-Gary Small, MD, Mind, Health Report
Social support keeps your emotional battery charged so that when you must confront an adverse situation, you have the mental resilience to prevail. Empathetic family and friends that you trust not only provide emotional sustenance but can also offer practical advice in times of crisis. Working with the Flight 3407 family group provides a significant example of the value of the point Dr. Small makes about friends and social connections in coping with and transcending loss.
As I have observed with many tragedies over the years, strangers before the accident came together over the shared losses and experiences in the aftermath of the crash and formed a new family. As their lives have continued past the initial connection, the family members continue to support one another in new challenges and changes that go with time. Observing the resilience of the Colgan/Continental Flight 3407 families has been a highlight to all of us at the Foundation who continue to interact with them.
For more information about the I-HARP™ Certificate, click HERE.